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PAGE NINE -- No. 9 The Uninvited Ombudsman Reports
by Alan Korwin, Author
Here's a casual sample. It might make you say, "They'll NEVER run that!" but the page is being built around ad revenues from right thinking mainstream businesses. Alan Korwin, Author
PAGE NINE Page Nine Is Now A Blog!
Contents:
The lamestream media told you: The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that: The headline, "Victim Identified in North Avenue Shooting," should have read, "Heroic Armed Homeowner Dispatches Perp During Dangerous Felony Invasion." Imagine the effect headlines like that would start having on crime. ---------- The lamestream media told you: "Police on Tuesday released the identity of a 32-year-old man fatally shot last week after a robbery and assault at Heritage Trace apartments, off Warwick Boulevard." The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that: After the assault, one of Martinez's accomplices pointed a gun toward the Williamsburg man, who then also pulled a handgun, Thurston said. The Williamsburg man opened fire, fatally wounding Martinez and apparently striking another robber, Michael Highsmith, 22, of Newport News, who made it to a hospital, where he was later arrested. The headline should have read, "Mugger Killed During Attempted Murder; Second Criminal Wounded And In Custody Due To Heroic Armed Citizen." Imagine the effect headlines like that would start having on crime. ---------- The lamestream media told you: The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that: The wholesale dumping of Mexican criminals into the United States would be big news, if the lamestream media decided to followup on the claim, or at least report it. None apparently have. Crime attributed to illegal aliens has skyrocketed in the desert state in recent years. Mike Harris, a successful businessman running for the Republican nomination, made the claim, the only actually newsworthy element of the one-hour telecast. The rest of the debate revolved around typical platform items like lowering taxes, limiting government and banning tobacco. Those subjects were extensively covered in papers the next day. ---------- The lamestream media told you: The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that: ---------- The lamestream media told you: Usama bin Laden released his latest call for global holy war to Muslims worldwide, and praised those already killing innocent people, by sending a tape to the al-Jazeera television network. Some 50 million Arabs get their news from al-Jazeera, more than any other source. Muslim jihadis have indicated they joined the global struggle against Western civilization after watching al-Jazeera broadcasts. The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that: AIM could find no U.S. news outlets that mentioned the conviction. The Spanish court found that the "reporter," Taysir Alouni, was involved in a terror cell that helped plan the 9/11 attacks. Al-Jazeera "expressed shock," that their man's seven-year prison conviction was upheld on appeal, according to the AIM report. The American Newspaper Guild, a U.S. mainstream-media group, claims Alouni is innocent. Page Nine readers should note that news reports from AIM are free on request. You can call them at 202-364-4401, or request the free, eye-opening, twice-monthly mailed newsletter by email at info@aim.org. In the interests of full disclosure, the Uninvited Ombudsman reveals that he is on the Speaker's Bureau for AIM, and is available for engagements at your events. Al-Jazeera plans to begin broadcasting in the United States, a fact promoted by numerous lamestream news outlets, often with pictures on page one. A charismatic, blue-eyed Texas ex-Marine has been selected as the lead anchor. I am not making this up. ---------- The lamestream media told you: Critics say his strong moral and religious beliefs are interfering with logic and much needed advances in science, and will seek to override his veto, but observers say they don't have the votes for an override. The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that: The only thing President Bush vetoed is spending even more money on stem-cell research than the federal government is already spending. Labs nationwide have been getting federal tax money for five years, to investigate this embryonic field. The taxpayer-funded work is in direct competition with private firms that must raise their own capital in the race to develop lucrative new cures for various ailments. Globally, a sprint for stem-cell cure-alls proceeds at lightning pace, meaning the President's veto will simply put federally funded leeches at a disadvantage to domestic and international competitors. Privately, U.S. research firms were delighted at the veto which, though viewed by the lamestream media as a reactionary moralistic slap at science, merely leveled the playing field for profit-dependent drug makers and others who have few limitations on the work they can do. Government researchers labor under strict limits on what they're allowed to do, which the dead bill would not have changed. Some observers believe communist China is in the front of the pack, since their use of aborted fetuses raises few concerns in a country that largely believes life starts at birth, not conception. South Korea and Great Britain have also made great strides in this nascent field. Religious leaders who have led their followers to believe the veto will save lives and end ghoulish procedures have been completely misled by the lamestream media on the issues, the effect of the killed bill, the current state of domestic research, and global nature of the science. The biggest effect of the veto is to save taxpayers significant sums of money, for programs not authorized by the Constitution anyway, though observers say that was probably not the President's primary motivation. ---------- The lamestream media told you: The only solution is to force Americans to drive small or hybrid cars, reduce emissions at every level regardless of deterioration our economy might suffer, and get used to living small in everything we do. The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that: The carbon dioxide generated by that coal is the equivalent, according to one televised estimate (Glenn Beck), of running three billion Ford Explorers 15,000 miles per year. The Uninvited Ombudsman tried but couldn't handle the math to convert energy-equivalent gallons to coal, and so cannot confirm that estimate, but invites you to try. A billion tons of coal may be easier for Page Nine readers to visualize as two trillion pounds. Now THAT'S a lot of carbon dioxide. The entire population of the United States -- including children below driving age and people who cannot afford a car (let alone a big one) -- is only 300 million. Lamestream sources failed to make any comparisons, perhaps because communist China's dictators are impervious to suggestions. ---------- The lamestream media told you: The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that: In a report received by The Uninvited Ombudsman: "The so-called 'watchblogs' are generally anonymous bloggers who have taken it upon themselves to read each report from a particular presidential campaign reporter and then critique it for factual errors or bias." The program sprang from leftists and Howard Dean supporters, but has spread. When NY Times reporter Jodi Wilgoren found out she had a blogger watching her (Wilgoren Watch), she said, "You've got to be kidding me," and complained they might have an agenda, and we don't know their qualifications. The SPJ Code of Ethics requires journalists to, "invite dialogue with the public over journalistic conduct" and "encourage the public to voice grievances against the news media." NYU journalism professor Jay Rosen is afraid the blogs may do damage, and doesn't like the idea that they are anonymous (though not all are). The Uninvited Ombudsman admits that this report made my day. Thanks to author Craig Cantoni for sending it. Craig's exceptional essays will be added soon to PageNine.org, and he can be reached at http://www.haalt.org ---------- The lamestream media told you: The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that: Now, the Gannett news chain's number two paper (the 500K circ. Arizona Republic) ran a front-page above-the-fold Sunday feature extolling the virtues of government-run gambling. (Gannett's number one paper, USA Today, did not carry a similar story.) The stunning hypocrisy stared readers blatantly in the face, but was apparently unnoticed by the editors and reporters, judging from the article's content. Headlined, "Gambling On A Sure Thing," the story featured a huge lottery ping-pong ball as the graphic, and ran numbers approving of the games, which critics have disparagingly labeled "a tax on stupid poor people." According to the gushing sidebar, "Lottery By The Numbers," the state sold more than 21 million lottery tickets in just 10 days when it began; nearly $9 million in unclaimed prizes in 2005 alone is a fringe bonus that the state simply keeps; the take in the first year for the "Pick" game exceeded $86 million, and though only 14 states had their own gambling operations in place when Arizona started, 42 states run wonderful games today. No constitutional authority for running gambling operations exists. I double checked. "It's no wonder states want to run numbers and gaming ventures," says a gambling expert. "They pay out millions but take in billions, and the people, almost all of whom will be losers, give them the money willingly -- unlike taxation." Without providing exact figures, the Gannett story shows this one state's take is around $5 billion. It's also no wonder they want to use their police power to shut down their competitors in the private sector, dashing hopes that the government is not just running another protection racket. In a previous story, the Uninvited Ombudsman suggested government's main interest in the gambling issue was to take control of the world wide web. They do however seem to have a stake in gambling that goes beyond a mere interest in controlling the Internet, and I apologize for this oversight.
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Corrections and Clarifications: 1. A reader points out that, in covering Congress' lack of any legitimate delegated authority to control wages in America, I neglected to mention that the minimum wage is influenced by the unions, many of whose wages are tied to the federal minimum. If the federal minimum wage goes up, so do the union wages in many cases. Since unions are a critical voting block, Congress responds to them regardless of any authority to act. I regret the oversight. 2. A former Navy man stationed on guided missile destroyers based at Pearl Harbor wants Page Nine readers to know the U.S. missile defense system, which has advocates clamoring for more money in the wake of North Korea's pathetic tests, is indeed operational. "Rather like a half constructed Death Star," he says. Thank you, that's good to know. 3. The same Navy man (who turns out to be the son of a good friend near Wickenburg) points out that Muslim terrorists aren't trying to win the hearts and minds of the citizens, so they're expected to kill and torture prisoners. When we're caught making terrorist wear funny underwear it interferes with the social results we seek. 4. Alert grammarian Dean Speir of thegunzone.com noticed that referring to "Mrs. Hillary R. Clinton," as I did, would make her the wife of Mr. Hillary R. Clinton. The correct reference should have been to "Mrs. William J. Clinton." I regret the error and will be more careful next time. 5. Confirming the ludicrous report about using National Guard troops to map the Mexican border, one Page Nine reader writes, "I am a Retired Special Agent with U.S. Customs, and my last duty post was in Sells, on the Tohono O'Odham reservation. This is some of the most remote area of the border, but we never had a problem. There are concrete markers (monuments) all along the border, with English on the US side, and Spanish on the South side. Other than vegetation, each monument can be seen from the monuments to either side. There is also a cattle fence, "maintained" by the International Water and Boundary Commission, all along this section of the border. In short, there is no need to map the border!" A Maricopa County government employee suggests that maps may serve two purposes. First, as a necessary preparation for invasion, and second, as a prelude to building the wall. Let me think. Hmmm. Nah. 6. A reporter friend at the Az Republic's main competitor took me to task for attacking the paper as a lapdog instead of a watchdog, saying, "C'mon Alan, you're shooting fish in a barrel with this map story. Accusing the Arizona Republic of lazy reporting is stating the obvious." He's right, sorry. But it may happen again. 7. Bloomfield Press, known for its factual books on gun laws, plans to introduce a line of novels for gunnies. These gun-related works of fiction are typically hard to find, and having read them, I can tell you they are the cat's pajamas and could cure hoplophobia. More news soon.
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I like your sassy reports. You're one of my all-time favorite smart asses.
Alan: Great blog.
Keep up the great work!
This is your best Page Nine yet! Issues of government waste and deception are of vital interest to liberals and conservatives alike. Restricting and censoring the internet is an encroachment on basic First Amendment rights that define what it is to be an American.
An excellent Page Nine report!!!! Madden is clearly as much of a lying scumbag as the rest of the Repugnant reporters. Referring to these clowns as "reporters" rather than "journalists" is accurate because all they do is "report" what those in power want them to report. FYI--Based on dozens of trips to southern AZ in 20 years, I can personally attest that the border is clearly marked by at least a cattle fence everywhere I have been scouting (The writer is a location scout in the film and advertising business). The ranchers on both sides of the border do not allow their cattle to wander into the other country. It is also an incredible joke that the National Guard is NOT to be an armed force guarding the border!!! Isn't that a proper role for them?!!! Building fences and mapping an already precisely mapped border while disarmed and with no authority to enforce the border where it exists is utterly absurd. The principal differences between the US and Chinese police states are simply that the US version is more sophisticated in its use of media and propaganda -Eric Cartridge
Alan, Page Nine makes me feel like I am not alone in this and the BS that is being feed to us, let alone the organized illegal's protesting their rights when they are breaking the laws of our land infuriates me. Can't anyone see that in another few years they will begin to want everything in Spanish? Why should I have to press 1 for English. Thanks for the updates.
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