PAGE NINE -- No. 29
by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America

I'm proposing a new page for newspapers ("Page Nine" regardless of the page it runs on), that covers stories afresh, not the way news rooms typically flavor things. It would help reduce the distrust so many readers feel. It could be the most read page in the paper.

Here's a casual sample. It might make you say, "We'll NEVER run that!" but the page is being built around ad revenues from clear-thinking mainstream businesses.

Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America
"The Uninvited Ombudsman"

--Tell your friends--
(Sign up and blog info at end)

PAGE NINE

The Uninvited Ombudsman Report, No. 29
by Alan Korwin, April 25, 2007

Page Nine Is Now A Blog!
Sign up for automatic RSS feeds
http://www.pagenine.org

Contents:
(searchable by item number)

1- STARTERS (Quotes from “newsmakers”)
2- Hillary Raises Millions
3- McCain Raises Millions
4- Air Marshall Pistolcraft
5- More Mammograms Please
6- Europe Goes Sharia
7- Faulty Immigration Math
8- British Hostage Mystery
9- Doctors Cheer Windfall
10- Homeland Defender Market
11- Guest author Craig Cantoni
      Who has the biggest beef?
12- Yes, Counterintuitive Man says,
      it’s OK to hate, no?

1- STARTERS:

Promoting racist stereotypes while attacking free speech: “If a white kills a black, it’s riot time. If a black kills a white, it’s execution time. If a black kills a black it’s Miller time.”
--Rev. Jesse Jackson, 4/9/07 on CNN’s Lou Dobbs show, 3:40 p.m.,while complaining about Don Imus.

“Nappy headed ho... nappy headed ho... nappy headed ho... nappy headed ho.”
--Rev. Al Sharpton on Politically Correct with Bill Maher, complaining about Don Imus’ use of a now-popular new phrase (unimportant portions of his interview have been edited out for clarity).

“Don Imus stole our glory.”
-Member of the Rutgers women’s basketball team, mistakenly attributing one fleeting morning comment of little significance to the non-stop tirade that did steal their glory, promoted by the nation’s two most prolific racists, Sharpton and Jackson, who staged endless events to publicize a three-word phrase spoken once by a morning radio talk show host.

“Ron Paul (excellent but obscure and media-ignored Libertarian candidate for President) is the injection of the Libertarian infection into the bone marrow of American politics, for which there is no cure.” --Libertarian activist Ernest Hancock

2- Hillary Raises Millions

The lamestream media told you:
Hillary R. Clinton has raised $36 million dollars so far.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Special interests, influence peddlers and rank and file have given $36 million to Hillary Clinton so far. They all expect something in return. Campaign finance reform is a joke, but the media has stayed mum, preferring instead to brag about how much money their favorite horse has "raised."

----------

3- McCain Raises Millions

The lamestream media told you:
Sen. John McCain, once considered the Republican frontrunner for the presidential nomination, has "stumbled," collecting only $12 million in the first quarter, an amount termed "anemic" when compared to his competitors. Mitt Romney raised $23 million in the same time period to take the Republican lead.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Influence peddlers, power brokers and rank and file have paid John McCain $12 million in just three months, in their bid to seek access, privileges and other benefits from the man who championed campaign finance reform to stop the corrupting influence of money. His bill, when read, actually prevents the public from mentioning a candidate's name in promotions within 60 days of a national election.

The mind-boggling amounts of money candidates are taking hand over fist from everyone in sight are listed in the daily papers like sport scores:

"By not immediately releasing his first quarter totals, Obama is building suspense about a possible big splash." "The New Mexico governor, not generally viewed as a major candidate, raised a respectable $6 million, and in doing so, increased his national media profile." I am not making this up.

No mention of the corrupting influnce of money, or the gutless reform act newspapers used to champion, can be found.

If $12 million dollars is stumbling, may you all fall flat on your kisser.

----------

4- Air Marshall Pistolcraft

The lamestream media told you:
Nothing.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Now that it’s nearly impossible to sneak onboard a commercial aircraft with a weapon larger than an eyebrow tweezers, the FAA Air Marhsals program is growing.

The Uninvited Ombudsman has obtained the actual shooting drill for air marshals, useful to anyone who wants to develop a similar level of proficiency. It is one hard mother of a program.

Like the El Presidente exercise some shooters may be familiar with, the drill is shot cold (no warmup allowed), with all shots at seven yards, at an FBI standard QIT “bottle-shape” center mass target.

The target, timed shot strings and explanations are posted at gunlaws.com. A total of 30 shots must be fired in thirteen stages (6 of which are repeats), in a combined total of 33.8 seconds. The drills involve reloads, multiple targets, and a 180 degree three-target string. Do you think you could qualify?
https://www.gunlaws.com/AirMarshal.htm

----------

5- More Mammograms Please

The lamestream media told you:
"While once-a-year mammograms are urged for older women, women who haven't reached their 50th birthday should feel free to make up their own minds about whether to get annual exams, according to new guidelines from the American College of Physicians," reports Lisa Krieger in the San Jose Mercury News on April 3.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
"Letting women make up their own minds is so radical and dangerous the idea should be abandoned immediately," according to Counterintutitve Man. "The College of Physicians should be ashamed of themselves for such a preposterous suggestion, clearly only meant to increase the numbers of exams they sell to line their pockets with filthy lucre from unsuspecting patients," he said.

Correcting Counterintuitive Man, the Uninvited Ombudsman notes that physicians don't sell exams, they just bill the government (or government-sanctioned insurance monopolies), which takes money by force from the public, to give to doctors.

----------

6- Europe Goes Sharia

The lamestream media told you:
Forming the European Union was a wise and logical step in the development of Western Civilization's heartland.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The number one name for new baby boys in Belgium is Mohammed. The number one name for new baby boys in Amsterdam is Mohammed. The number one name for new baby boys in Malmo, Sweden is Mohammed. In England, it is only number five.

Unrestrained immigration policies, coupled with lavish welfare cash giveaways to immigrants, funded on the backs of heavily taxed native citizens pounded daily by their media on the wonders of socialist "fairness," is contributing to the impending destruction of the heart of Western civilization.

Immigration of high birth-rate Muslims, and the low birth rate of native French, now places France in the lead, within two generations of having a Muslim majority and sharia law. Under sharia law, all cultural elements that do not abide with the Koran (music, dance, art, literature, architecture, sculpture, free thought, attractive women, etc.) must be destroyed or enslaved.

The lamestream media has been too busy with American Idol and campaign cash scores to cover this minor story. Read "While Europe Slept" and "America Alone" for a wake up call.

----------

7- Faulty Immigration Math

The lamestream media told you:
President Bush went to the Mexican border at Yuma again to tout a four point plan to fix the illegal immigration problem. “Apprehensions are down 30%,” he said, “so we’re making progress.” His plan includes a guest worker program but does not include amnesty for the estimated 11 million illegals already here.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
A reduction in captures is not a reduction in illegal immigration, it is a reduction in captures. Instead of catching one out of two illegals, as the Border Patrol has for years claimed it achieves, this implies it is now catching 0.7 for every two illegals attempting entry, if the President’s numbers are correct. How illegals are improving rates of entry was not reported.

The “news” media has been claiming 11 million illegals in the U.S. since at least 2002. But the Border Patrol has been claiming it catches one million annually at its one-out-of-two success rate. A simple investigative tool called a “calculator” shows this means one million illegals gain entry every year. That would mean at least 16 million illegals here. The Uninvited Ombudsman has shown this evidence to the news media. No correction has been issued, and the 11 million figure remains the standard on the networks, cables, radios, papers and “news” magazines.

Critics charge that reporters are incapable of doing math, possibly because they only study English in J schools. Less than 11 million reporters deny the charge.

----------

8- British Hostage Mystery

The lamestream media told you:
Iran released 15 British soldiers it accused of trespassing in Iranian waters.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
You will never know what really happened. All the reports that say they know, or speculate they know, or postulate they know, are baloney and just filling airtime and newsprint for the gratification of the masses. The Uninivited Ombudsman has no crystal ball and no independent insight into the situation, just like everyone else.

----------

9- Doctors Cheer Windfall

The lamestream media told you:
Government authorities warned today that, with an aging baby boomer generation, as much as 20 cents of every dollar could be spent on health care in the U.S. by the end of the next decade.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Health care officials were ecstatic on news today that as much as 20% of the entire U.S. economy could go into their pockets within ten years. “The best part is that most of it will just be given to us by the government, which runs the system and controls the insurance industry -- which it plans to make mandatory. Consumers, who will pay the bills through forced taxation, could not be reached for comment.

----------

10- Homeland Defender Market

The lamestream media told you:
Nothing.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Firearms marketers, lead by industry giant Ellet Brothers (a commercial distributor), are expanding their lines of “Homeland Defender” products to the general public.

“Consumer demand for tactical and strategic product lines are fast becoming the growth sector of the market,” said one knowledgable insider. “Americans are increasingly aware that authorities show up only after the fact, and that good old self-reliance gene Americans seem to have is expressing itself with great vigor.” Citizens want to be prepared for anything, and responding to Sep. 11, Katrina, and media-promoted psychotics they are snapping up an array of militia-readiness gear.

In other news, guns sales and gun-book sales are up significantly nationwide.

----------

11- Who has the biggest beef?

By Special Guest Columnist Craig “Extremist” Cantoni

Four political groups are unhappy with the current state of affairs in the nation: left-liberals, faux conservatives on the religious right, progressives, and libertarians/true conservatives. Let’s see which group has the biggest beef:

Left-liberals are unhappy about a lot of things, including being born. But when all of that unhappiness is boiled down to its essence, their major beef is that there is not enough redistribution. They want higher taxes on the “rich” so that there will be more social justice, more fairness, less poverty, and fewer Wal-Mart stores. (I don’t understand what Wal-Mart has to do with anything, but my job here is to just repeat what they say.)

Do left-liberals have the biggest beef? No, for two reasons: one, because the government is not forcing them to do something that they don’t want to do; and two, because no one is stopping them from giving their money to their pet causes. They’re even free to start their own retail chain and charge the poor higher prices.

Faux conservatives on the Religious Right are unhappy with the secular state, with the banning of God from classrooms and public squares, and with Americans marrying sheep or people of the same gender. But they don’t have the biggest beef, because no one is stopping them from practicing their faith. Heck, they can even start their own religion, although, admittedly, all of the good ones have already been taken, including the one about God speaking through a burning bush, the one about a prophet flying to heaven on a winged horse, the one about a guy in Italy being infallible, and the one about an angel giving golden tablets to an absentminded prophet who then loses them.

Progressives are unhappy that the government isn’t more of a busybody. But they don’t have the biggest beef, because they’re still free to form their own utopian sub-society with its own busybody rules. It might even become a tourist attraction, like the Amish in Pennsylvania.

Since you’re a smart cookie, you’ve probably concluded through a process of elimination that libertarians and true conservatives have the biggest beef. Yes, indeed. Why? Because the other three groups won’t leave them alone.

Libertarians and true conservatives believe that people can do whatever they want as long as they’re not harming anyone else. Like the Founders, they believe that government should be powerful enough to protect life, liberty and property, but not so powerful that it infringes on basic rights. They even have the quaint notion that the individual comes before the collective.

A typical day for a libertarian or true conservative goes like this: You are sitting at home minding your own business when there is a knock on the door. Opening the door, you find a left-liberal with a collection basket, a member of the religious right with a Bible and a video camera, and a progressive with a new regulation. The left-liberal wants your money, the religious righter wants to put the Bible and camera in your bedroom, and the progressive wants to tax your cigarettes to fund the early childhood development of other people’s kids. If you slam the door in their faces, they’ll come back with federal agents to break down the door and enforce their will upon you.

Libertarians and true conservatives don’t knock on other people’s doors or retain federal agents to break down other people’s doors. Yet, amazingly, they are called names by the other groups, especially the pejorative of “extremist.” Imagine that: The nation has strayed so far from its founding principles that if you mind your own business you’re an extremist.

Well, take it from this extremist that the political group with the biggest beef is the libertarian/true conservative group. Gotta go now. Someone is knocking on the door.

An author, columnist and extremist, Mr. Cantoni can be reached at ccan2@aol.com.

12- Yes! Counterintuitive Man says it’s OK to hate, no?

Just ask the political left: It's OK to hate guns and gun owners!

Or ask the right: It's OK to hate anti-gun-rights bigotry and the smarmy policies and corrupt political hacks who promote it!

Just ask the president: It's OK to hate broccoli!

Ask anyone but Islamist murderers: It's OK to hate Islamofascists who blow up little children and behead innocent people as a political statement!

It's OK to hate your enemies!

But it's not required. It's a choice you get to make!

Yes, hatred is as natural a human trait as hunger, and neither one is going away any time soon, no?

And hate-crime laws are as hateful as the hate they hate and impotently seek to ban!

So stop sniveling! Reduce hate in your own life? Fine!

Enforce your will on me? Not so fine, because I hate that!

----------

If this report works for you --
tell your friends!
Sign up (or off) for email delivery:
alan@gunlaws.com

----------

If constitutionalists all moved to one state and started running things the way America ought to be -- would you want to get up and move there? Wait till you see how fabulous that state becomes, while the feds declare them in insurrection! Read "Molon Labe," the superb novel from Boston T. Party. Book review here:
https://www.gunlaws.com/books7novels.htm

Do something good for yourself -- get a book or two your school teachers would NEVER recommend:
https://www.gunlaws.com

Back in stock after a brief outage:
Knife Laws of the 50 States!
Perfect for travelers.
https://www.gunlaws.com/KnifeLawsof50States.htm

Thanks for reading!
Alan Korwin
The Uninvited Ombudsman

Page Nine Is Now A Blog!
Sign up for automatic RSS feeds
http://www.pagenine.org

Now carrying or planning to carry Page Nine!

Soldier of Fortune
www.soldier-of-fortune.com

The Eco-Logic Powerhouse
http://www.freedom.org

The Fifty Caliber Institute
http://fiftycaliberinstitute.org

Sonoran News Newspaper
http://www.sonorannews.com

Mens News Daily
http://www.mensnewsdaily.com

The Payson Patriot Newspaper
http://www.paysonpatriot.com

Shotgun Sports http://www.shotgunsportsmagazine.com

The Ryter Report
http://www.jonchristianryter.com/RyterReport/headlines.html

Wilson County News, Floresville, TX
http://www.wilsoncountynews.com

The Libertarian Enterprise
http://www.ncc-1776.org/

The SanTan Sun (Phoenix Metro)

Ed Phillips' Arizona Almanac (Radio)

NYS Rifle & Pistol Association Newsletter "The Bullet"

Buckeye Firearms Association
http://www.buckeyefirearms.org

Gun List
in Charlie Cutshaw's monthly column

Western Missouri Shooters Alliance
http://wmsa.net

Virginia Liberty
http://lpva.com/HTML/vaLibertyArchive.htm

Chelsea Rod & Gun Newsletter
http://www.chelsearodandgun.org

American Daughter
http://frontpage.americandaughter.com/?cat=100

Read It Here
http://www.readitnews.com

WE'VE MOVED -- JAN. 1, 2007!!

Alan Korwin
Bloomfield Press
"We publish the gun laws."
4848 E. Cactus, #505-440 <-- NEW STREET ADDRESS
Scottsdale, AZ 85254 <-- NEW STREET ADDRESS
602-996-4020 Phone
602-494-0679 Fax
1-800-707-4020 Orders
https://www.gunlaws.com
alan@gunlaws.com
Call, write, fax or click for free full-color catalog

If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you're reading this in English, thank a veteran.

"No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing
because he could do only a little."
--Edmund Burke

================================
Comments help keep me going. Alan.
================================

Please sign me up for your page nine, I love it! endeavor to persevere.

Alan. I wish I had a pirate satellite for the transmission of page 9 to the mindless masses in Europe and America. All of the cultural and religious relativism has gutted our core moral values and made us a worthless, soul less sniveling mess. --Craig S. Andersen, Attorney

Alan; Your point of view is always appreciated here, keep up the good work.... Richard

Thanks for adding me and keep up the outstanding work. I am forwarding your newsletter and a link to all of my friends. --J. Grimm

I note that every day we read and hear that X number of US troops died in Iraq, along with Y Iraqis. I have a question: How many of these Iraqis died attacking our troops or their fellow Iraqis? The sheeple are led to believe that only our troops and innocent Iraqis die there. It would appear no one kills any insurgents. This is just another point where hidden editors get to "shape" the news to agree with their ideals. My sources outside the 'lamestream' media say we have a kill ratio of 20 to 1. That is, we kill 20 insurgents for each trooper we lose. Why isn't that in the paper ? Could it be the editors have an agenda? Keep the faith! --Seth Nadel

Alan, I agree with your final statement: "If the sun, or the stars, or gases, or aliens, or phenomena we don't even recognize or understand are warming, or even cooling the planet, do my taxes have to go up?"
Keep us informed as you ever so cleverly do, Thank you, Phyllis

Sir, your one sided right wing ravings are of no interest to me. I asked you
to remove my name from your list. I now demand it.

You know, I have no clue why you keep sending me this stuff even though I’ve asked to you stop. Your propaganda goes directly to my Junk MailBox but this time I'm finally going to comment on the trash you spit out.

I believe rifles are very appropriate and should be allowed and owned by "Average America" with the proper scrutiny. But assult weapons and handguns should be banned entirely, including the police departments. Let’s get real here, these weapons are only used to kill or mame, whether they are owned by good guys or bad guys. Owning handguns or assult rifles has nothing to do with your constitutional rights. By the way, I’m a VET who has spent four tours in Viet Nam. It’s likely I’ve seen more death than all of you put together. You need to pray to your God about setting your minds straight. You’re all hypocrites! --Davel L.

[No, Dave. Firearms’ main purpose is to protect people, save lives, stop crime and keep you safe. Guns are why America is still free. When someone goes crazy, you send in people with guns to stop the carnage. How could a vet miss that? Too much news media?]

Dear Alan,

HOORAH for your piece, "Page Nine Extra--Gun-Free-Zone Tragedy Again"! Thank God someone has the intestinal fortitude to tell the Truth to our blundering media. Your honesty and frankness are refreshing.

Objection! None of the victims in this case were "children". Let's not resort to mindless, inaccurate hysteria the way the grabbers do... That said, thanks for P9 Alan, it's great!

[Point taken, thanks for the correction. That line was lifted from an earlier piece of writing and should have been changed but I overlooked it.]

Mr. Korwin, I thought I would let you know I contacted my Senators (Sens. Cantwell and Murray) and Representative (Rep. Adam Smith) today regarding the so-called Gun-Free Schools Zones Act to request their assistance in amending it to remove the 1,000-foot rule. I appreciate you posting the talking points on your website, as I used those to help craft my message. I will paste my message below for your reference. I also want to thank you for your dedication to this important matter. Warmest regards, Matt Sciascia, WA

Readers comment on Global Cooling Lightbulbs

Many good observations including:

1. They release a lot of mercury vapor when they eventually get to the landfill, a point the greens suppress.

2. Some people have found they don’t last anywhere near as long as advertised, others say they do.

3. Apparently no one else has noticed the buzzing noise, but I gotta tell you, some of mine are loud. (“At this moment I am under 3 CFs that I bought 10 years ago and are going strong WITHOUT a buzz. I enjoy many of your comments on the lamestream media, but I doubt some of your understanding when you attack the use of CF light bulbs - you might buy some better quality ones. There are cheap and poor ones out there. I agree, the feds should NOT mandate use of CFs, but energy efficiency is not expensive. --Doug Thompson)

4. “Kill me now or kill me later, I guess. I think I'll stick with the cozy, warm glow of an incandescent until they physically pry them out of my lamps. --Stuart

5. “I put one in my garage. Later I thought my pocket AM radio needed replacement, because of the terrible buzz and whine as I listened AT THE OTHER END OF THE HOUSE. But the noise stopped as soon as the garage light went off. I junked the bulb, then noted the warning on the package that the bulb should not be used near navigation equipment or other critical electronic devices. Cell phones? Wireless networks? Can you see the chaos? I predict that a few years after they are required, the 'greens' will demand that they be banned, just as they pushed diesel cars as 'cleaner' in the 1970s, then 'discovered' they are really dirtier and had them banned--from California, for example.” --Dave

Alan, FOX news is just now reporting that the TN legislature voted to lift the ban on carrying handguns in Gov't-owned buildings. They report that this was a direct result of the WV incident which was a 'wake-up' call. --Gary

WE'VE MOVED -- JAN. 1, 2007!!

Alan Korwin
Bloomfield Press
"We publish the gun laws."
4848 E. Cactus, #505-440  <-- NEW STREET ADDRESS
Scottsdale, AZ 85254  <-- NEW STREET ADDRESS
602-996-4020 Phone
602-494-0679 Fax
1-800-707-4020 Orders
https://www.gunlaws.com
alan@gunlaws.com
Call, write, fax or click for free full-color catalog

If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you're reading this in English, thank a veteran.

"No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing
because he could do only a little."
--Edmund Burke