PAGE NINE -- No. 27
by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America

I'm proposing a new page for newspapers ("Page Nine" regardless of the page it runs on), that covers stories afresh, not the way news rooms typically flavor things. It would help reduce the distrust so many readers feel. It could be the most read page in the paper.

Here's a casual sample. It might make you say, "We'll NEVER run that!" but the page is being built around ad revenues from clear-thinking mainstream businesses.

Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America
"The Uninvited Ombudsman"

--Tell your friends--
(Sign up and blog info at end)

PAGE NINE

The Uninvited Ombudsman Report, No. 27
by Alan Korwin, March 10, 2007

Page Nine Is Now A Blog!
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Contents:
(searchable by item number)

1- Utah's Muslim Murderer
2- Insensitive Video Infuriating
3- Oscar Ratings Low
4- Conjecture Wins Documentary
5- Paramilitary Teams Assembling
6- Poll Accuracy Predictable
7- Democrat's Gun Ban
8- Next 100 Hours
9- Department Of Peace
10- Yes! Counterintuitive Man looks at
      voting statistics, no?

[Gun Law Update coming soon -- the truth about the D.C. Handgun Ban case]

1- Utah's Muslim Murderer
The lamestream media told you:
An off-duty police officer halted a shooting rampage in a Salt Lake City mall, when 18-year-old Sulejmen Talovic, wearing a trenchcoat, opened fire on shoppers for no apparent reason. Officer Ken Hammond, having lunch nearby, heard the shots and rushed to return fire and hold the gunman at bay until reinforcements arrived. Who fired the shot that stopped the criminal was unknown at press time, Paul Foy reports for The Associated Press.

"He was such a good boy. I don't know what happened," said his aunt in a TV interview. Five people were murdered in the attack, and others wounded.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
This homicidal maniac was identified by WorldNetDaily, a highly respected web news source, as a Muslim refugee from Bosnia, a fact somehow omitted in the lengthy AP story. Although gunfire was required to stop the murderer, as it routinely is, apparently none of the victims were armed.

Anti-gun-rights advocates are expected to use the Muslim's murderous spree to call for gun-control efforts aimed at people, like you and I, who didn't do anything.

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2- Insensitive Video Infuriating
The lamestream media told you:
Five respectable student advisors at Long Island University are in trouble for producing a funny parody video in which they hold a rubber duck hostage, and threaten to cut its throat in crude Middle Eastern accents while wearing burkha-style face masks.

"I demand iPod Nano," one of the 'terrorists' on the video says. The video has so enraged officials at the school that they've fired the five students from their jobs as resident advisors and have threatened to expel them.

Students are marching in support however, and a lawyer has been hired and is threatening the intolerant school officials.

Muslim groups have expressed outrage at the video, which was posted and then removed from YouTube. "The harm that generates out of such jokes stereotypes Muslim Americans," Gazi Khanhan of the American Muslim Alliance said on Thursday.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
It has become increasingly important to get Muslims infuriated, using humor and routine commentary, according to free speech advocates in the United States. "We need to show the true nature of the greatest enemy America faces," they said.

"The Muslims believe they can unhinge our system by becoming "outraged" at any speech they dislike, even accurate jokes," said one observer who requested anonymity, fearing for his life from Muslim peace lovers who kill infidels. A basic tactic Muslims rely on is lying, which they consider honorable, if it advances their cause, he said.

"These uncivilized barbarian fanatics chop off people's body parts for minor offenses, publicly exhibit the remains, and then scream they are offended by mere speech, videos and even cartoons. They are lying scoundrels and must be exposed. Insensitive, intolerant, stereotyped and insulting remarks aimed at them are a good thing." The stereotypes typically aimed at Muslims, he said, are all true.

Many U.S. politicians are complicit with the fanatics, feigning sympathy to appear sensitive and politically correct, and are borderline traitors, the well-spoken observer observed. "Those officials who believe we should be 'sensitive' and 'tolerant' to the abusive behavior of Muslim men toward women and non-Muslims should be removed from office."

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3- Oscar Ratings Low
The lamestream media told you:
Oscar ratings continue to slide, as competition for viewer time, reduction of exclusive star status from the golden Bogie/Bacall days, non-stop overexposure of every minor scantily clad trollop, a numbing glut of awards shows and instant idol status for wannabees continue to tarnish Oscar's image.

This year's audience was up by a slight 0.004, even though the number of TV sets in U.S. homes grew.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Unmentioned in lamestream reports on the slipping ratings for the Academy Awards are the real reasons so many Americans no longer idolize Hollywood:

Hopelessly debauched and depraved films of mindless violence that depend more on effects and camera work than scripts and acting; hopelessly one-sided manipulative propaganda videos nominated and winning as documentaries years in a row (Michael Moore and now Al Gore); and hosting this year by a person who makes a mockery of American values, the American family, cares more for green Hollywood multiculti-isms than red-blooded JohnWayne-isms, and is considered by tens of millions of citizens a borderline degenerate, Ellen DeGeneris (I know I'm going to take heat for calling her "borderline").

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4- Conjecture Wins Documentary
The lamestream media told you:
And the Oscar winner is... An Inconvenient Truth!

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
In an easily predictable result, Al Gore, the man who formerly claimed he invented the Internet, won the Academy Award for best documentary, for a mockumentary about global climate. In the film, which examines one side of one theory about Earth, Gore makes horrific dystopian predictions of what Earth will be like in 100 years, with a straight face. He predicts a devastating 20-foot rise in sea levels. (The U.N.'s IPCC estimates suggest a change of 8-17 inches may be possible; note that climatologists are currently unable to predict weather one week into the future.)

The Cato Institute characterizes the film as a riveting work of science fiction, and backs up the claim with real research from real scientists.
http://article.nationalreview.com/ ?q=YjI4NTc0YWMzNTA3ZjRmYmJiMDRjNmI5MGEwZTFhM2E=

In other news, Mars, which has no known man-made greenhouse gases or SUVs, has been warming steadily for the past decade. Sunshine has been blamed as the culprit.

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5- Paramilitary Teams Assembling
The lamestream media told you:
Firearms are being purchased legally in U.S. gun stores and then smuggled into Mexico by drug and human-smuggling gangs. Texas stores are seeing an increase of "straw purchases," where a person with no criminal record goes around getting arms for the criminal gangs on both sides of the border.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Pictures obtained of some of the seized weapons indicate that they have not been obtained legally, as suggested in lamestream reports. http://www.homelandsecurityus.com/TamaulipasWeapons

Among the seizures were 40mm grenades and at least one M16 equipped with an M-203 grenade launcher, not currently available to U.S. citizens at retail. Additional gear suggests paramilitary operators are planning an assault unrelated to routine smuggling. Included in the seizures, and unmentioned in the "news" were three civilian vehicles upgraded with bulletproof glass, armor plate, and enough bulletproof clothing and ammo to equip three 6-man strike teams.
http://www.homelandsecurityus.com/ TamaulipasWeapons022507

Firearms purchased legally for smuggling are not purchased legally.

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6- Poll Accuracy Predictable
The lamestream media told you:
A new poll suggests guns are bad, should be banned, and the Brady Campaign is leading the way to make America safer, with new gun ban plans.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Just like the surveys often sent out by pro-gun-rights groups, the new Brady survey is more about fundraising than actually seeking anyone's opinion. The Firearms Coalition encourages people to answer the survey and consider following through on their fundraising appeal by writing a check to your favorite gun-rights group. "We at the Firearms Coalition would be very proud to receive donations in honor of Sarah Brady."

Follow this link to answer Sarah Brady's survey:
http://www.bradynetwork.org/site/PageServer?pagename=SRV_2007 GeneralLegislativePrioritiesSurvey

The "Name", "Address", and "Email" request at the top can be left blank. If you enter an eddress, they might put you on their mailing list so you can keep tabs on their activities.

Thanks to Jeff Knox, Director of Operations, The Firearms Coalition, for bringing this news to my attention. On-line contributions to the Firearms Coalition can be made at http://www.FirearmsCoalition.org or mailed to: The Firearms Coalition, Box 3313, Manassas, VA 20108. Their periodic reports pull no punches.

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7- Democrat's Gun Ban
The lamestream media told you:
Nothing.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The rumored "assault-weapon" ban expected from Democrats in Congress has been introduced as HR 1022. It is a 2,000-word general firearms ban and "gun control" (disarmament) proposal that has little to do with the now expired "assault-weapon" category invented under president Clinton in 1994.

The bill controls vast inventories of existing firearms by redefining them as "assault weapons." Assault, as The Uninvited Ombudsman has noted previously, is a type of behavior, not a type of hardware.

From the standpoints of the civil right to arms or crime control, the bill is a travesty in direct violation of the Constitution, and a violation of the oath of office of any legislator who supports it. No action against any of the perpetrators is expected.

The bill attacks by name some of America's most basic, traditional firearms: The Colt AR-15, the M-1 carbine, the Ruger 10-22 and the Thompson, and classic import models like the SKS, AK, FN/FAL, Steyr AUG, Uzi, Galil and many more.

More than 60 firearms are named for the ban (Clinton's bill named 19), but few autoloaders could escape the proposal: it includes most semi-auto magazine-fed pistols, and rifles with a "grip," which basically excludes nothing. (This is hidden for rifles by referring to a "forward grip," but that's later defined as anything that works as a "pistol grip," which is then defined later as anything "that can function as a grip.") It's as sneaky as any language I have ever seen.

To make sure nothing is omitted from the controls, the Attorney General is granted unrestricted power to include virtually anything else, disguised with "sporting purposes" language. All semi-auto shotguns are also banned.

New conditions for background checks, private sales, children, magazines, imports and more are included in this "assault-weapon" bill. Read it yourself, the language is fairly plain, by entering "HR 1022" here:
http://thomas.loc.gov/

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8- Next 100 Hours
The lamestream media told you:
The first 100 hours of Congress under Democrat rule was amazing.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
You weren't told much about Congress under the second 100 hours, confirming critics' fears that the media only reports what the government tells it to report.

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9- Department of Peace
The lamestream media told you:
Nothing.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The left wing of the Democrat party, lead by Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH), has introduced a bill to form the swell sounding U.S. Dept. of Peace.

This would be a cabinet-level position, with a Secretary of Peace, Undersecretary of Peace, and dozens upon dozens of other officials, each with a staff of their own. The starting budget will be only eight thousand million dollars ($8 billion), and will grow only as fast as everything else at the federal level.

According to a presentation attended by The Uninvited Ombudsman, the new Dept. will avoid the usual bureaucratic waste and inefficiency because it will be, "an umbrella group" absorbing other agencies, and "it will be streamlined and efficient." Why other federal agencies can't also operate that way was unexplained. The Dept. will be better than a private operation, a non-profit, or a think tank, organizers are sure.

Promoters are quick to point out that the Dept. of Peace will "research, facilitate and articulate peaceful nonviolent solutions to conflict." They are less quick to point out that the new Dept. will have policy making powers, social engineering programs, indoctrinations for school children called "educational programs," enforcement powers, and more, in its 5,000-word enabling statute, HR 808.

As currently written, the Dept. of Defense will have to confer with the Dept. of Peace before it can do anything. It was not clear from the discussions if any of the bill's supporters have read the bill.

Not to overlook an opportunity for backdoor gun control, the Peace Dept. will, "(5) analyze existing policies, employ successful, field-tested programs, and develop new approaches for dealing with the implements of violence, including gun-related violence and the overwhelming presence of handguns."

The reason the lamestream media missed this story are unclear.

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10- Yes! Counterintuitive Man looks at voting statistics from his friend Professor Joe Olson, at Hamline University (Minn.), no?

Concerning the 2000 Presidential election:

Number of States won by:
Gore: 19; Bush: 29

Square miles of land won by:
Gore: 580,000; Bush: 2,427,000

Population of counties won by:
Gore: 127 million; Bush: 143 million

Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by:
Gore: 13.2; Bush: 2.1

Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory Bush won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of this great country. Gore's territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..."

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If this report works for you --
tell your friends!
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----------

If constitutionalists all moved to one state and started running things the way America ought to be -- would you want to get up and move there? Wait till you see how fabulous that state becomes, while the feds declare them in insurrection! Read "Molon Labe," the superb novel from Boston T. Party. Book review here:
https://www.gunlaws.com/books7novels.htm

Do something good for yourself -- get a book or two your school teachers would NEVER recommend:
https://www.gunlaws.com

Back in stock after a brief outage:
Knife Laws of the 50 States!
Perfect for travelers.
https://www.gunlaws.com/KnifeLawsof50States.htm

Thanks for reading!
Alan Korwin
The Uninvited Ombudsman

Page Nine Is Now A Blog!
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Mens News Daily
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The Payson Patriot Newspaper
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Shotgun Sports http://www.shotgunsportsmagazine.com

The Ryter Report
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Wilson County News, Floresville, TX
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The Libertarian Enterprise
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The SanTan Sun (Phoenix Metro)

Ed Phillips' Arizona Almanac (Radio)

NYS Rifle & Pistol Association Newsletter "The Bullet"

Buckeye Firearms Association
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Gun List
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Virginia Liberty
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Read It Here
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Contact:
Alan Korwin
BLOOMFIELD PRESS
"We publish the gun laws."
4848 E. Cactus #505-440 <-- NEW ADDRESS
Scottsdale, AZ 85254 <-- NEW ADDRESS
602-996-4020 Phone
602-494-0679 FAX
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alan@gunlaws.com

Call, write, fax or click for a free full-color catalog.

If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you're reading this in English, thank a veteran.

"No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing
because he could do only a little."
--Edmund Burke

================================
Comments help keep me going. Alan.
================================

Correction:

"Koran" means 'recitation,' or 'recite aloud.' It's "Islam" that means submission. I knew that. I goofed. Further proof that, despite the rumors, I'm human.

Observation:

The "news" media is getting so bad it's getting hard to stomach for long enough to write these reports. Few stories appear that cannot be torn to shreds on ethical and bias grounds. Story selection and slant are borderline propaganda, on a good day. TV has become unwatchable, including the formerly interesting FOX, which now runs features on fat people and new products, and interviews reporters instead of newsmakers, while showing inflammatory old file footage over a hot drumbeat. Muslim jihad madness is still blandly disguised as vague terrorism. And self-imposed pressure to conclude my book on the threats to free speech -- Bomb Jokes for Airports -- may just tear me away from Page Nine for a while. Nah. Outrage at the morning paper will drive me to these therapeutic critiques before my coffee, as it has been doing now for a year.

----------

Alan, you hit it on the head as usual. I have always said that this country will grind to a halt when the last working person quits work to go on disability. We now live in a nation with such a horrific addiction to entitlements that we have to import Hispanics, who work very hard, to support our monumental welfare apparatus. On the bright side, as you indicate, most Hispanics are Christian. If they will work with us to fight the evils of gun control and the gay agenda, I would happily learn how to say "burrito." --Craig S. Andersen, Attorney at Law

I look forward to reading EVERY "Page Nine" newsletter! Thank you... --Tony

I like your style. Please add me to your list.  --Scot The Infidel

Re: Page Nine -- sign me up !!!!!!!  I'm with you 100 % --  Bob "Stormtrooper" Benjamin

Keep up the great work my friend with your page 9 #25. It's an uphill battle, but the hill-top is within sight and the cowards are running!! Take care, best, --Danny McMillan

Alan: I like your Page 9 so much I've included it in my recent blog on the Arizona Republic's SE Valley Blog - Best regards, Bob Hisserich

Alan, Love page nine - good job! Thanks, Alan. --J. Chris King

Hi Alan, Just a quick thanks for your great column. I enjoy reading your "uninvited ombudsman" comments! --Boston T. Party

Wow! You're an expert on everything, eh? Please take me off your list. --Kendall.
[Not expert -- observant, thoughtful, rational, articulate. You're deleted.]

So, the white supremicist groups are (just now) recognizing the liabilities of illegal immigration? Thankyou A.P.! --Tom P.

Alan: Our group absolutely loves your column; no one has the insight or talent to compare! One generally-ignored member of our group noticed an anomaly in the following sentence, and asked that it be addressed. According to Mitch, there is no such word as "snuck," and he feels its use distracts from your appeal. Whatever. Keep up the great work! "The 30 million illegal immigrants estimated to have already been snuck into this country amounts to approximately one third of the entire Mexican population." --J. Eubansky
[You're right, I just snuck it in there.]

It's not the media, Alan. It's the scientists who are saying Global Warming is real. One cool winter out of many that have been hotter and shorter doesn't mean Global Warming went away. It just means we're damned lucky to have some cold weather for a spell. Geez! --Jeanne Winograd

What's next, a Global Inquisition by the Church of Climatology? Why is Climatology starting to make me think of Scientology?

This alone should make reasonable people doubt the science behind the "consensus" being coerced by the Global Warming Thought Police, such as Commissar Al Gore, Commissar Bill Moyers, Comrade Heidi Cullen, and other wannabe global Lysenkos. Why do these would-be Torquemadas want to intimidate, smear, defund, and even imprison or kill scientists, meteorologists, and other dissenters who won't parrot the Global Party Line? If they really think their science is indisputable and settled, why must they suppress all doubt? Is their science so fragile they must silence every nonbeliever? --Russ H.

Hey Alan... pls. add mi amigo Tracy Platt to your mailing list for the Page Nine. He thinks they're great, as do I. --tplatt

I'm keeping this one handy (Greenhouse Is People) as a rebuttal to pro-global warmers and as a reference. Thanks for sending it out! --Rob Hanus

Hi Alan, Very Creative !!!! I love it!!!! I will be sure to use this on my SUV driving soccer-mom liberal friends, well at least the few I have left.... Best regards, --Harv

Convincing argument. Perhaps global warming is bad science. Since you see overpopulation as the route of the problem, I assume you support birth control education as well as abortion rights? Your red-neck buddies ain't gonna like that. Always look forward to reading your column, --Pete Campbell
[I support neither of your suggestions I'm only pointing out the obvious. I believe pestilence will do the job for us eventually.]

Alan, GOOD JOB! I have already fwd'd this report to my list of MMGW (Man-Made
Global Warming) "enthusiasts" - at least to the ones whose vocabulary includes words of more than two syllables ;-) Thanks, Dave

If all those 'intelligent' people BELIEVE in Global Warming, why aren't they BUYING LAND in Alaska; SIberia, Greenland, etc? Those areas should be in prime demand..... --joalaska

BRAVO !  BRAVO ! I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY.  All the "efforts" of mankind to warm the earth pale when compared to the structures of nature. Thousands of radio amateurs are aware of the immense effect of sunspots on the propagation of radio signals due the effect of the increases of heat of the sun affecting the heaviside and other layers which surround the earth. To steal a page from the leftist methods, I believe that every person on earth should be forced to read this Page 9 issue and those who don't should be executed. My best regards, --Charlie DeFir

Alan, As usual, I agree with your viewpoint on these matters, HOWEVER I must caution you about letting the Politicians in on the "Sex" aspect of global warming. You are correct of course but now they will find enough lamebrain supporters to pass a legislative ban on "Sex" --Tom
[Yikes... should have considered that. But... they're already well on that road, with genetic engineering, selective breeding tax incentives, birth controls, abortion regs, spina bifida control, etc.]

Dear Alan, Gotta love The president of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Klaus. He appears to be very lonely in his sanity surrounded by the European fools. Perhaps you can review his book when it comes out... Remember: The most efficient and least polluting use of fuel produces as it's by-product the most carbon dioxide. Anything else would spew much more truly dangerous pollutants such as incompletely combusted hydrocarbons, carbon monoxide, sulfur dioxide, and other photochemical smog producing crap. It's basic High School chemistry: efficient combustion of fuel yields energy along with carbon dioxide and water vapor as it's by-products. With Liberty and Free $peech, --Cliff

Dear sir: If it wasn't global warming we would be in and ice age. Now i rest my case. --Bill Burns

Allan --  Loved the latest Page Nine! It is my totally unbiased considered opinion (as a lifelong single female) that there is not one problem faced anywhere on earth that cannot, in the final analysis, be attributed to one single causative factor: TOO DAMN MANY PEOPLE! I also predict that the human race will prove to be the only species in the entire history of the planet to POPULATE itself out of existence! I am proud of my status as a single female who has NEVER inflicted another human onto the face of the earth. If there were more like me the future might be brighter. I'm also glad that I'm almost 70 and am a diehard "no code" whose goal in life is to disappear and be forgotten. Too bad there aren't more like me! Q.E.D., eh wot? Keep up the good work! --Pam Mayall PS. No reply to the above diatribe is necessary. Just keep churning out those books.
[Fascinating Pam, good for you.
Worked all morning on the book, a pleasure to read your note.]

Alan, Great info on global warming... The greens, as I know them from Europe, are rabid socialists. So is Al Gore, and the people now in majority in our Congress. All the so-called remedies for global warming fits their agenda perfectly. Redistribution of wealth (United States pays), big business must be controlled (taxed or nationalized), wealthy people (U.S. middle class) must be made "carbon neutral" (taxes, public transportation, indoctrination in school to become good socialists). Alan, the "Uninvited Ombudsman" provides the antidote to the lamestream media. Keep up the good work! Sincerely, --Birger Reinertsen

Good article. It's also well worth mentioning that since NASA has been examining the temperatures on Mars, a warming trend has been verified since 2003. This includes the easily visible shrinking of its polar ice caps. Let's see Al Gore and his minions blame that on automobiles and the evil United States. Couldn't possibly be that the source of the warmth itself, the Sun, which is the only thing shared between Earth and Mars, is going through one of its well-known warming cycles...right? --Brandon Williams

If you haven't seen it before, you may wish to get a subscription to the Access To Energy newsletter. It covers this issue and many more with hard facts from working scientists. The newsletter's editor, Dr. Arthur B. Robinson, also runs the Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine, http://www.oism.org. He headed up the Petition Project many years ago, which gathered over 17,000 signatures from real scientists (not agenda-driven bureaucrats) who were opposed to the Kyoto Treaty and the popular beliefs regarding global warming.

Anyone with eyes can see what is going on with ice sheets as big as Rhode Island drifting in the south seas and Polar bears starving for lack of solid ice in the arctic. You got stock in EXXON? That would account for the blindness. --Kendall M.

Hello Alan, Here is a tidbit to go along with your theme. I am a Volunteer Firefighter, and the other night was reading a book on the history of firefighting. Among many other facts, there is a section on Coal Seam fires worldwide. These are underground fires in seams of coal. These can start from natural causes, and have proved resistant to all means of extinguishment. Some have been know to have been burning for 100 years! And they release as much Carbon Dioxide as every car and truck in America, every year! And have been for at least 100 years. So, the earth is contributing to global whining (er, warming). I guess we should, what? Do away with the planet?? Thanks for your insightful commentary. --Seth R. Nadel

Alan, It was my pleasure in meeting you this past weekend at the gun show in Phoenix. Your book is one of the best purchases I have made in a while. It is an impressive, comprehensive collection of information to say the least. I read the entire thing in two days, highlighting away as I went. I am a high school teacher and I was browsing your book while the students took a test yesterday. Following the test, I was astonished at how many students noticed what I was reading. While I am restricted buy school policy, I did my best to add some educated gun law substance to class before moving on to our next topic. Thanks again for a nice piece of work! Sincerely, Andrew, H.S. Biology / Phys. Ed. [name hidden to protect the intelligent]

--------

WE'VE MOVED -- JAN. 1, 2007!!

Alan Korwin
Bloomfield Press
"We publish the gun laws."
4848 E. Cactus, #505-440  <-- NEW STREET ADDRESS
Scottsdale, AZ 85254  <-- NEW STREET ADDRESS
602-996-4020 Phone
602-494-0679 Fax
1-800-707-4020 Orders
https://www.gunlaws.com
alan@gunlaws.com
Call, write, fax or click for free full-color catalog

If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you're reading this in English, thank a veteran.

"No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing
because he could do only a little."
--Edmund Burke